Foul!

Saw this exchange on a news article comment feed…

Commentator 1: Homeless people need love too. (offensive comment deleted) when you live on the street and your hygiene is worse than my shih tzu’s?

Commentator 2: (More offensive comment deleted).   Also, apostrophe foul.

referee-300x272
Commentator 1: Ewww! Never! Yuck. But I do let the homeless pet my shi tzu. They love dogs and my dog doesn’t seem to mind them & if it brings them a moment of happiness or escape from their lives, then it’s worth it. Of course, my dog sniffs other dogs butts, so I’m sure my dog is enjoying the interaction 😊
Commentator 2:
referee-300x272
Second apostrophe foul. Keep this up and you and your dog will be ejected from the game.
😀
Don’t know why but the whole punctuation foul thing just really tickled my funny bone.  Have a great weekend y’all.
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Aviation Anonymous

Hello.  My  name is Scott, and I’m an aviation addict.

Hello Scott.

It’s been 4 weeks since I last flew.  I’ve been flying for almost 25 years and I can’t seem to to stop.

You can do it.  Welcome to our program.  We’ll help you.

I don’t want to stop.

We’ll assign you an accountability partner.

Oh, you mean like a co-pilot?

Yeah, I really need an aviation fix.  Come on rain, go away.

Back To Spam School

I’ve received two emails now from the same spammer.  I wish I had kept the first one because it was even funnier than this one.  He’s apparently working on his spelling but still has a way to go.  I give you… someone pretending to be PayPal!

“Dear svanarts@yahoo.com,

We emailed you a little while ago to ask for your help resolving an issue with your PayPal account. Your account is still temporarily limited because we haven’t heard from you

What’s the problem ?

We noticed some unusual log in activity with your account, Please check that no one has logged into your account without your permission. Take a momment to change your password and security questions and riview your account information and recent transactions for changes or unknown payment.  If you see a payment you don’t recognise, go to the Resolution Centre and report it by clicking “Dispute a Transaction”

How you can help

It’s help us with this and to see what you can and can’t do with your account until the issue is resolved, log into your account and go to the Resolution Center

Confirm your account now

Sincerely,
PayPaI Inc.”

Okay Mr. Spammer, here’s a little lesson in grammar.  Under “What’s the problem”, you write “We noticed some unusual log in activity with your account.”  The correct way to say this would be, “We’ve noticed some unusual activity on your account.”  Also, “moment” is spelled with only one “m”.  “Riview” is spelled “Review”, and “payment” should be plural.  To make the word plural simply add an “s” to the end of the word.  Since I am in the United States we spell it “Center” not “Centre”.   Finally, in your last paragraph please delete “It’s help us with this and”.  Simply start your sentence with “To see what you can and can’t do…”

So there you are Mr. Spammer.  My little attempt to make the world a better place through better grammar.

Old silliness

I’ve been going to old files and mementos and ran across the following.  It’s been floating around in other forms for years but this was our adaptation of it.  This is from my days as a test equipment technician at Lockheed Missiles and Space Co, now Lockheed-Martin Missiles and Space.  FYI, D5 refers to the Trident II Fleet Ballistic Missile System.

D5 Test Equipment Technician Technical Skills Aptitude Battery

Instructions:

Read each question carefully.  Answer all questions.  Time limit 4 hours.  Begin immediately.  Work in numerical order (equipment remaining from question 1 may prove useful with questions 3 and 6.)

  1. Medicine: You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a bottle of Scotch.  Remove your appendix.  Do not suture until your work has been inspected.  You have 15 minutes.
  2. History: Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating especially but not exclusively on its social, political, economic, religious, and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa.  Be brief, concise, and specific.
  3. Public Speaking: Two thousand drug-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom.  Calm them.  You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.
  4. Biology: Create life.  Estimate the difference in subsequent human culture if this form of life had been created 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the English Parliamentary System.
  5. Music: Write a piano concerto.  Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum.  You will find a piano under your seat.
  6. Engineering: The disassembled parts of a high powered rifle have been placed in a box on your desk.  You will also find an instruction manual printed in Swahili.  In 10 minutes, a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room.  Take whatever action you feel is appropriate.  Be prepared to justify your decision.
  7. Sociology: What sociological problems might accompany the end of the world?  Construct an experiment to test your theory.
  8. Management Science: Define management.  Define science.  How do they relate.  Create a generalized algorithm to optimize all managerial decisions.  Assuming a 7600 CPU supporting 50 terminals, each terminal to activate your algorithm, design the communications interface and all necessary control functions.
  9. Psychology: Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodinias, Ramses II, Gregory of Nicea, and Hammurabi.  Support your evaluation with quotations from each man’s work.  It is not necessary to translate.
  10.  Economics: Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt.  Trace the possible effects of your plan on these areas: Cubism, the Donatist Controversy, and the Wave Theory of Light.
  11. Epistemology: take a position for or against truth.  Prove the validity of your position.
  12. Classical Physics: Explain the nature of matter.  Include in your answer an evaluation of the impact on the development of mathematics on science.
  13. Modern Physics: Produce element 107.  Determine it’s half-life.
  14. (NOTE: At the time this was made up, there were only 106 known elements.  Bohrium is element 107, discovered in 1981.)
  15. Energy Resources: Construct a working fusion reactor.
  16. Philosophy: Sketch the development of human thought.  Estimate its significance.  Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.
  17. General Knowledge: Describe in detail, briefly.

Extra Credit: Define the universe.  Give three examples.

Year 25–What a year

Wow, what a ride this year has been.  I still can’t think of anyone I would rather ride the roller coaster with than my beautiful bride.  We married 25 years ago, against some pretty amazing odds no less.  We’ve had a lot of ups and downs in our marriage.  Those who know this will find it surprising but we almost split up once.  But God helped us heal ourselves and kept us together and here we are.  The hills and valleys continue even this year but we’re stronger than ever.

Looking forward to the next 25!

My Day

I haven’t been able to update my blog lately because of my life lately.  So, so busy.  For instance, today started at 2am.  Luckily I was able to work from home.  2 hours on the phone doing some maintenance work in Tacoma Washington.  Then back to bed for a couple hours.  Then off to work.  As soon as I arrived… you guessed it, trouble in Tacoma.  No one can print.  Was it related to our maintenance work, you bet it was.  One hour to diagnose and fix that problem.  Before I even got done more calls started coming in.  We’re having DNS issues.  Two hours to track down and fix that problem.  Then back to Tacoma, they would like a new wireless access point installed.  30 minutes for that.  Some paperwork.  Set up a virtual com port for our virtual VAX running on a virtual server.  An hour for that.  Two servers are way behind on security patches.  One more hour for that.  Throw in a lunch break and a few meetings and the day was done.

No it wasn’t, just before I leave there is trouble on a switch in Olympia Washington.  It took 4 hours, working with local support up there to get yesterdays config loaded onto the switch.

Then the day was FINALLY over at 7:30pm.

Anyone see why I like to fly?

A Versatile Dog

I came across some photos of our timeshare dog, Rosie.  I call her a timeshare dog because she goes back and forth between staying with us and a family from church.  She mostly lives with them now but I can’t help but extol the virtues of this little dog.


Right out of the box she came with the ability to communicate with satellites.


She could speak sign language.


She stored easily and was VERY easy to transport.


Likes hanging with her homies in the hood.


Has her very own action figure.


Loves to read.


Can lay eggs.


EXCELLENT watch dog.


But mostly she is just always there to keep you company.

What a versatile dog!

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